REMINISCENCE

Recently someone sent me the above old photo taken in 1994. She is Desiree and she is in this photo (seated extreme right). The photo was taken at a Pasir Ris Christmas Celebration at the void deck of Block 534, organized by Pasir Ris Family Service Centre, my first working place. I still remember every single child in this photo. I was known to them as Uncle Sian Kiong (nobody calls me by that now). I had just graduated and started on my first job as a social worker. In 1994 I was only 25 years old - youthful and innocent days – the world was a world of imagined possibilities, haven’t quite fully being initiated into the passages of life realities.

Today every one of them would have grown up into young men and fair ladies. I wonder how are these children whom I used to interact with in close proximity in the yester-years. But at least I have recently learnt that Desiree is already in her final year in NTU, graduating in no time and waiting to plunge into the real working world, just as I did in 1994. The world now belongs to this new generation – youthful as they are, with gusto and bite in face of a new world order.

I was on msn with Gary today (after not doing so for a long time). Gary is another child whom I had known from Pasir Ris Family Service Centre since he was Primary 1 (I think). Now he is 18 years and heading to NS in a few days’ time. He has gone into big-time sales in the past one year, traveling to different countries already, sometimes all by himself, he told me. Wow! I just couldn’t have imagined Gary doing that while he was still in Primary 1.

These youthful oomph’s were the innocent faces of yesteryears – welcome to a brand new world! I wish you well as you embark on a new adventure of your life-time. New challenges await you; new possibilities greet you at every turn; but along with it, new growing pains (that is not just limited to teenage years, mind you) will continue to confront you but only with the intent of maturing our character, if only we do not become bitter and hardened through the process. Take care to retain your childlike innocence because innocence can be a virtue and not to be confused with childish gullibility.

Growing wiser does not mean losing your innocence.

Thanks so much, Desiree for sending the photo and the email!

Still growing up,
Eli-yah

A REAL SENSE OF HOMECOMING

Time really flies – we have been working in Cambodia for over three & a half years now. Each time, when Grace and I came back to Singapore for holiday or meetings, I always felt a huge sense of excitement and eagerness to be back to familiar homeland Singapore. Not that we are not enjoying our work in Cambodia – we are. But nevertheless Singapore is where roots belong; Singapore is where we grow and it is also Singapore which makes it all possible for us to root deeper, climb higher and spread our branches beyond the shores of Singapore.

So homecoming, despite having done so many times in this 3.5 years, have never lose its special meaning and appeal for a oft-home-sick Singaporean like me.

But Grace would always reason that home is where she is. So no matter where I am (Singapore or Cambodia), so long as she is around, that is home – that will be family. I wouldn’t agree more; but yet, I would counter by reasoning that home would be more complete if we were to be back to our own Blk 557 Pasir Ris St 51, which has now become the temporary property of our tenant; hence making us trespassers of our own flat if we try to enter it without permission… Sigh, sadly! We haven’t entered it for a good number of years now (despite that the details of our flat and my favorite activities in it remained firmly etched in our mind).

18 Sep 07 – For the first time, Grace and I were separated for the first time, the longest time in our 6 years of marriage – a good 18 days. Grace had to be back to Singapore to prepare for her delivery of our first child (oh how excited, despite apprehensive too, were we) while I remained behind in Cambodia for work. And I can tell you, I can now empathize with any baby or child who has separation anxiety with her parents, because that was exactly (maybe not exactly lah) the same anxiety I felt when I was about to be separated from Grace.

So on 6 Oct and then again on 25 Oct when I came back to Singapore to reunite with Grace, the feeling of homecoming took on an even greater significance. And I begin to remember and appreciate Grace’s words much better, “Home is where I am!”… Her message was finally driven home.

Now the worst separation in my life (so far I think), is on 9 Nov, only 6 days after our baby was born on 3 Nov, when I had to go back to Cambodia all alone. It was difficult, to say the least. I couldn’t wait for the next 13 days to drift by as swiftly as possibly because I really want to be back with family, now that the unit is complete with our first bundle of heavenly joy and delight.

So finally on 22 Nov night while I was waiting for departure at Phnom Penh Airport Departure Hall, alone myself and unknown to the many other waiting passengers, I felt a REAL sense, a very authentic & un-faked sense, of homecoming. It was a homecoming like never before.

So at the Phnom Penh airport, while many affluent Cambodians were catching the Water Festival Holiday season (which started the following day on 23 Nov, when the fateful drowning accident of the 5 Singaporean dragon boat team members took place at Tonle Sap, a river which I had to cross everyday to work) were leaving home for Singapore for a holiday getaway, I was coming home for my own getaway, right into the heartland of my Singapore homeland, and into the warmth and love of my very own family. THIS IS HOME indeed!

Experiencing homecoming,
Eli-yah


Afterthought

But as I reflected on the spiritual significance of this personal experience of mine, I wondered if I would have been as enthusiastic and eager with my heavenly homecoming as with my earthly homecoming? Have I, in my embrace of my earthly family (a blessing and heavenly inheritance indeed), diminished my desire like Paul’s “desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far” (Philippians 1:23b)? Or have I yet to learn from the fathers of faith of bible times who “were longing for a better country – a heavenly one” (Hebrews 11:16).

Relearning homecoming,
Eli-yah

Grace writes:

I had wanted to update the blog for a long time. Have had many experiences – about the birth and the past 3 weeks of motherhood – but had not been able to find time and energy to do so.

GG is 3 weeks old already – and I am 3 weeks old as a mother! Her helplessness - needing food, needing to be cleaned whenever she soils herself, needing to be held close, comforted and given attention in this new world where she finds herself in – is often a reflection of my own helplessness in this new role as a mother.

How to latch on properly for breastfeeding, how to burp her, how long to burp her, how to carry her securely – these are all lessons in Motherhood 101. I haven’t finished this module yet – my mother has been a great help in so many ways – she bathes GG everyday – I told myself, wait till GG is a month old first (more like, wait till I am a month old as a mother first) before I move on from the Basic Basics to the Intermediate Basics. Afterall, food and comfort are more basic needs than a need to be clean, right? (Elijah will probably disagree with me on this point! Equally important, he will say.)

One of the main things I have learnt in this 3 weeks is that – I can’t bring up a child alone. No way. Children are not meant to be brought up by just one care-giver. The task is too huge and demanding on one person – unless it is Superwoman, and I’m no Superwoman.

God put newborns in families, with father and mother, grandparents, uncles and aunts, cousins, experienced and concerned friends, etc. so that all these people, to different extents, play significant parts in the child’s growing up. Likewise, as a newbie-mother, I have found this circle of support to be a great help to me.

I found myself gaining a new appreciation of my mother in these 3 weeks – how she has been looking after me – cooking, washing (confinement period, not supposed to touch water – so I don’t even need to wash the plates after meals!), boiling water for my bath and use, helping to carry GG and sing to her, talk to her, pray for her. Earlier on when my breastmilk supply was not stable and there was not enough milk for GG who was crying and struggling, I really felt like giving up breastfeeding because I thought it was too stressful for me and affecting mum and dad whom I was staying with. Mum saw my tears and asked me about it. Then she responded “Breastfeeding is a process – just continue on in this process”.

In my anxiety with the stress of the moment, I had lost sight of the bigger picture – that not having enough breastmilk is one of the steps in the journey of breastfeeding, and if we continue and not give up, in the natural process, milk supply will increase.

How thankful I was for a wise mother. She offered me the bigger perspective when I all I could see was the agony of the moment. Thank God for mothers! May this newbie-mother also go through the lessons of Motherhood 101, 201, 301… and many electives – and I don’t know when I will ever graduate – and learn the value of persevering in the process.

Many things to write about – have been pondering many things in my heart – but will steal another time to do so.

Thanks for all your concern for us! God bless you!

one of papa Elijah's (Sian Kiong) creative shots - hands

Picture of GG - one week old!

I am a father... We are parents... FINALLY!!!!

I AM A FATHER… WE ARE PARENTS … FINALLY!!!!

Welcome Kai (3) Yue (4) … meaning Victorious Delight (name inspired by passage given to Grace from Hannah’s prayer in 1 Sam 2:1-10 & from Psalm 21 & 37 given to Elijah). You may not yet make the connection, but as parents, we did lah!! :-) Will explain in another update lah!

Bio-statistics
DOB: 3 Nov 2007
Time of Birth: 1733 hours
Gender: Girl
Weight: 3.459kg
Length: 44cm
Head Circumference: 36cm (I will verify again)
Health Status: Excellent
First identifiable characters: Obedient and brave (like Mummy :-)
Ambition: Evangelist (?? :-) – see testimony below

Other Interesting Info
First contraction detected: 3 Nov 2plus am (at home)
Admitted to KKH: About 6:30am
Enter delivery suite: About 8am
Started pushing: About 4pm (ie. very long labor)
Delivery: Fully natural
Source of Strength: Divine
Outcome: Miracle (will explain more)
Mummy: Brave & the STAR of the DAY!!!

One of Many Testimonies
Quoting Dr Wee (roughly to this extent): “This is a personal testimony to me of divine intervention in the process” (ie. that Grace, a first-time mother, delivering naturally). Dr Wee used to attend church while studying to be a doctor in UK and he was inspired by a pastor to become an O&G doctor then. We knew in our spirit that Kai (3) Yue (4) birth has been a powerful Christian witness to him and the delivery team.

All glory to the Living God!

Exhausted but rejoicing!!!

Eli-yah (Grace & Kai Yue)

"A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world." (Gospel of John 16:21)

Waiting... Delaying... Waiting...

WAITING… DELAYING… WAITING…

1 Nov 2007 6:05pm Singapore Time…

We are still waiting ... patiently waiting, yet secretly longing and praying that the arrival will be sooner than later.

I rushed back to Singapore on 25 Oct and prayed the arrival would be delayed so that I will be around in time to welcome the BIG ARRIVAL of our lives.

Now one week has passed since I returned, but the arrival is delayed way beyond our heart’s desire and prayer. I go back to PP on 9 Nov – each day of delay will be mean one day lesser of my time spent with family, yes FAMILY (Father And Mother I Love You). It will be another 2 more loooooonnng weeks before I returned back to Singapore again on 22 Nov.

I pray 3 Nov will come sooner … I can’t wait
I pray 9 Nov will be delayed … I can wait
I pray 22 Nov will come sooner … I can’t wait
I pray 7 Dec will be delayed …. I can wait
I pray 22 Dec will come sooner … I can’t wait

I pray… “Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord” (Psalm 27:14)

Still waiting,
Eli-yah