Back in Phnom Penh -with GG this time

picture of GG in her bed in the mosquito net.

I am stealing moments to write this.

While GG is asleep still. Now learning to do things as quickly as possible.

Second day back in PP. thank God that GG is adjusting to the changes fairly well. Of course she still cries – babies will cry some.

When I carry her to put her to sleep and she cries, I can’t help but think that she is missing her grandmother, my mum who has been helping to take care of her for the first 2 months. As I think that way, tears come to my own eyes and I miss my mum too.

Perhaps for me too, there is separation anxiety – I realized how much my mum and dad has done for me and I am learning to do the same and be a good parent to GG.

Surely mistakes will be made as a parent. Surely even as I try to put her on a routine, I cannot expect her to stay by the clock on the dot – I don’t expect that of myself too.

So I am learning – to have a routine and yet to be flexible. To set expectations and yet to understand that there are misses and that is ok. To learn to enjoy the process.

Thank God for this opportunity to learn..

In the days to come, there will be much more to learn – what to do when she begins teething, or when she runs a fever, or when she begins to crawl, or when she knocks herself. We also want to change her to use cloth diapers – that means she will probably cry more when she is wet and uncomfortable, and more diaper changing exercise for me. Not particularly exciting really.

But as I think about it, I must have shitted hundreds of times as a baby and how my mum and dad and grandma who looked after me have patiently and lovingly cleaned me up every time in those pre disposable-diapers days. Surely I can learn something from them.

As my Aunt Helen told me, “When you become a mother, you really can appreciate your own mother.” She is right.