KY is 6-months old and
she is now able to smile for the camera :)

Another lesson to learn..

Kye Yue has just turned 6 months old yesterday. We are truly thankful to God – its been an amazing 6 months – the initial two months were really tough, then it became easier as she cried less and was able to interact and respond to us more.

Yet this recent week has brought back some of those early struggles I had – she had a bout of diarrhea, then I caught the bug and then it was Elijah’s turn. My breastmilk supply dipped and she started to wake 3 or 4 times a night to feed – previously she would mostly wake twice a night.

I did not get enough sleep at night and I resented having to get up so much in the night. My negative mood continued on in the day. Desperate to make some changes to the night waking and night feeds (doesn’t help when I hear that other babies her age have been able to sleep through the night!), I searched the internet and re-read some guide books which all basically said: feed the baby more in the day, so she won’t be so hungry and feed so much in the night.

So feeding times became a battleground. I was trying to make her drink as much milk as possible and as quickly as possible. Well, the guidebook also said that babies her age are able to finish drinking in 20 minutes or so. Problem is that for the past few months, Kye Yue has been more like her father who loves to go to Ya Kun for a leisurely cup of Teh-si.

She started to cry a lot during feeding times. And in my desperation and stress, I was switching sides, or burping her, or putting her to the potty every time she paused from drinking. No wonder she struggled so much. It was no longer a relaxing Ya Kun session, it looked more like a 20-minute breastfeeding contest.

Until just now. She cried and struggled lots again. Between switching sides and burping her, I was losing it “What do you want, Kye Yue? Mummy doesn’t know what you want!” Then it was my turn to cry.

She stopped crying and looked at me intently. She saw me wipe my tears. I looked at her. And she smiled.

By God’s grace, her tears and mine have cleared my eyes and helped me to see better. Whenever I think “what’s wrong with her?”, it may be helpful to consider – what’s been happening in our interaction? What are her basic needs and how are they being met?

At 6 months I think her needs are essentially food, warmth, love, safety, stability. When her needs are met, I think she will be able to be less frustrated and less whiney and cry-ey. And maybe less clingy and more able to spend short times on her own.

Dear Lord Jesus, will You please help me? So often I find myself at my wit’s end. So often I don’t know what to do. So often what the guidebooks say don’t work perfectly. Almighty God, You are Kye Yue’s Creator. You know best. So teach me. And help me look to You. Thank You. Amen.